Is alcohol the 'thing' you having been ignoring?

Could alcohol be one thing blocking you from moving forwards?

So I knew, I knew for a long long time that drinking alcohol just didn’t sit right with my values and also my purpose. And whilst initially the desire to be alcohol free was because I thought that I ‘should’ do it, to fit in with the fitness guru mold, over time, like with smoking, I knew deep down that it was actually because I was using it to numb and keeping me stuck in my sadness and my self-destruction.

Now this may come as a surprise to my clients, even my friends and people that have seen me on Instagram. Because I DO have everything going for me, but deep down I haven’t been feeling ‘good’ for a long time.

LOSING OUR TOLERANCE MUSCLES

Somewhere along the line, I got into the groove of alcohol being my source of escape. And it wasn’t until I had truly started to free myself from claws of my unhealthy relationship with alcohol, that I saw how ‘weak’ my inner resource had become. I had no other tools to deal with the natural trials and tribulations of life. I couldn’t deal with any negative emotion sober. And it wasn’t until I was reading fictional book called Rachel’s Holiday (didn’t know it was about addiction & rehab when I randomly picked it off a charity shop shelf), and in it the therapist said to Rachel ‘some day you are going actually have to experience real emotions without numbing out’. A light bulb switch on my brain, I had basically been using alcohol to avoid experiencing ANY hard emotion and that the more I avoided them the harder it would feel to experience them. It is like a muscle, if we don’t use it, we lose it. It we don’t use our tolerance muscles we lose them. We also don’t look for any other resources to support ourselves through challenging times, because alcohol is so quick and easy to give us that fix and make everything better (temporarily).

ALCOHOL AND PMS

I didn’t even think that alcohol was effecting my mood and causing PMS, instead I put it down to past live traumas, Vagal Nerve imbalances, Menstrual Cycle UN- awareness, my living situation and my work situation. And actually all of those things have had an effect of me, however I would say alcohol one was of the key elements that has really increased the severity of my PMS. My partner gently suggested to me one morning, ‘maybe it could be because you drink consistently’, and again it was like a light bulb had gone off in my head. This sparked my interest, and through my reading around alcohol use, and I found out that alcohol and oestrogen are both detoxed via the liver! So, excess oestrogen is known to cause weepiness, depression, period cramps, bloating, headaches, and fatigue, most of the things that I experienced on a monthly basis. Excess oestrogen also increases risk of breast cancer later on in life. So, it lead me to discover that if we are drinking alcohol on a daily or even weekly basis, it can cause excess oestrogen because the liver is diverted to detoxing alcohol instead of oestrogen.

The most amazing thing was that in the very first month of drastically reducing my alcohol intake, my PMS symptoms disappeared AND I suffered no cramps the first night of my period. And funnily enough on the second day of my period I had 2 alcoholic drinks and suffered cramps the next day. That was a very clear indication of just how much inflammation is caused by alcohol, even from just one or two drinks.

THINKING CLEARLY

One my other major reasons for accessing my relationship with alcohol was that I wanted to be able to think clearly, without being on the roller-coaster ride of unbalanced hormones and constant detoxification. I found that in my relationship I was constantly looking at the negative side of things and triggered at the drop of a hat. I found this to be a very confusing and frustrating time, and I wanted to feel more grounded and more confident in myself and my decisions. Could our relationships be improved or even saved if we didn’t have an alcohol reliance (and when I say alcohol reliance I don’t just mean ‘alcoholic’, I mean habitually drinking it). Through more reading and research, I found out that the chemical effects of alcohol were effecting my self confidence and sense of who I am (I wasn’t just a broken soul). It was due to the quick hit of dopamine (the happy hormone) that is received through alcohol ingestion that was dampening the dopamine receptors as a consequence, and so by comparison normal life can feel harder and less fun ( as you need MORE dopamine to feel pleasure, motivation and happiness). And so removing alcohol (or drastically reducing), allows your dopamine receptors to reset and normal life to feel better.

BREAKING THE CYCLE AND DIGGING DEEPER

I also know that if I am using something that I know isn’t really aligned with my values, but I can’t stop, there is something I am in denial about or something to dig deeper into. Repeating the same patterns of numbing out behaviour is only sweeping under the rug what is really going on inside. But it will still be there for us to face eventually. And sometimes for a really long time we aren’t ready to face our shadows, and then perhaps a combination of things happen that puts us in the space to feel ready to look ourselves in the mirror and change our behaviours. Ironically the more I lived in that untruth, the worse I felt and the more I needed to numb (annoying!). What helped me to break the cycle was getting as much knowledge as possible. I love reading! Obviously part of it is also getting to a ‘rock bottom’ of sorts and then having a moment of realization. But truly dissecting and understanding what is going on inside and what the substance is doing to us is paramount to change, I believe, and also reading or watching something informative/inspirational on a daily basis keeps us in a place of questioning our relationship with alcohol. Learning that alcohol is ethanol, and ethanol is also what we put in our cars, really helped me to dis spell the illusion that advertising companies have created around their alcohol products.

THE FEMININE APPROACH

Just like my approach to eating, exercise and spirituality, I do believe there is a more holistic way of letting go of alcohol. It doesn’t have to be about being clean and saintly, or regimes and rules, or not drinking versus drinking. For me, it is about connecting and truly listening to your gut instinct, and using the power of your body as medicine. Filling the day up with creativity and connection, so that eventually alcohol feels less relevant. Questioning relationships fueled by alcohol (i.e. the people you only get drunk with). Practicing self care at the beginning, middle and end of the day, so you don’t get to the end of the day completely empty, having completely abandoned yourself through the day, and totally disconnected from your core values and intentions. I also believe our bodies can be our source of pleasure and power, but we spend most of the days in a structured, mind driven world. We wake up in the morning and check our messages on our phones (straight into our heads), instead of mindfully moving, checking inwards, or breathing our way into a balanced start to the day (in our bodies). And so, by the end of the day we completely forget how to wind down using our bodies (because we forgot they were there), and so we opt for the bottle and numb out from our heads that way.

RETREAT RETREAT RETREAT

I often guide my clients to take a brief retreat from the world when we are doing a meditation. I invite them to completely let go external identities and daily demands, and rest in the simplicity of of feeling the sensations of the body or breath. Shifting our focus from thinking to feeling, is a great way to retreat from the head. Another brilliant way is to actually go on a retreat! I have found that most of my powerful inner shifts have come about when I am completely removed from my everyday life, and in a safe and inviting space to explore and let my guard down. A retreat is like a protective womb space, where once again we can be held and supported (like a child), and this gives us the energy to reset our self-sabotaging thoughts and behaviours, and remember how good it is to feel hopeful again. Retreating is so important as it gives us the opportunity to really to a step back from ourselves and our lives, and re-evaluate. When we are stuck in the middle of it, it is difficult to understand what is going on, and even harder to make changes. Another point here, is that we can be so attached to our identities (and habits) that we can’t even imagine ourselves ( or lives) any different. Stepping back and coming into a neutral space, essentially detaching from our lives as they are and external selves, gives us that space and ability to turn in a choose direction. Daily meditation is amazing for that, but retreats give us even more space!!!